so. it took me super long just to figure out how to use html again.

thank you to my sister ah sam for helping me. i was going crazy staring at all the html stuff. i was seriously going insane.

so i was deciding if i should revive this blog or switch to the other 2 that i signed up for. but i decided it would be easier for me to get myself familiarised with blogdrive again instead of running to blogger or lj which i have no stinking clue how to operate it as well. so i finally got my brain juices working again and blog is back up.

so being back home has been good. got all my errands done and then settled school stuff as well. now its just meeting up with as many pple as i can although coming back was really lowkey and i didnt tell alot of pple im back. well appearing on msn and facebook is a big obvious sign. but obviously, seeing that i forgot alot of pple, its prob the same with others in regards to me.

so yes. counting. i have about less than 6 weeks and then im gone for good. well maybe not for good. but i will be gone for at least 6 months or more. its weird having to leave again. pple keep asking me if im so used to being away that i dont miss home but really that is not true at all. i miss home like crazy. but the reason why im going back so fast after being home for sucha short period of time is because i wanna get back into the flow of things. like being home now is so great but i feel like im being very idle and i dun really like it. and besides how many pple can i actually meet if im here for a long time. not many either seeing that im pretty much anti social. so mite as well just go back rite? finish up school and if nothing happens over there i will be back for good. so yeah. that is my plan for the next 2 years ba. hopefully something good happens.

so im not ready to get married yet but its on my plan. like its the next step ya know. and if it comes my way, im not going to push it away no matter how scared and how unprepared i am. if its what the Lord wants, i will go do it (:

so ive been immersing myself in worldly stuff. gosh whats the world coming to really? there are so many changes. like seriously alot of changes. i came back and was thrown into a world that i dont really know anymore. i feel so away from everyone. from everything. from reality. i feel like im still in my own world sometimes. its hard i guess but its just adjusting. once im gone i guess it would be better ba. a new life, a new place and new everything. i'll still be judged by others and face challenges but still at least i have a new environment that i can mould myself in.  ok im blabbering again. i should just shut up.

anyways, aside from being distant and isolated from the world, im pretty much adjusted back. im still super tired all the time but well that is unavoidable. i think once i hit school again its going to be more tiring seeing how busy lotta is. im a little scared going back to school but im excited as well. i mean not being in school for so long makes me miss it but thinking of having to be stressed all over again stresses me out so bad. but like i always say, its adjusting ba.

so im really outdated. im listening to songs from a year and a half ago. its still all korean songs mostly but really its outdated already. so if anyone has pretty nice new songs that they wanna recommend can tell me? or send to me la. im computer idiot now. i cannot find anything already. and seeing ive lost most of my korean and japanese, i cannot find anything on the websites either. and then wat else, my stuff are all a year and a half ago. bag, books, mug, computer, almost everything ba.. clothes also. i threw away so many already but still cannot throw all ah. otherwise nothing to wear. but really so pathetic la. no clothes at all. sometimes because no proper clothing so i dun wan to go out or i stress out and take a super long time and end up being late. aishx. i tell you really no schedule and wanting to look pretty stresses me out. thinking back to mission days, there was a schedule, every hour was filled with something to do and then i didnt bother to look pretty at all. not that im pretty or anything but i didnt dress up at all. it was like std everyday how i look. but now its like stress to dress up and look nice. but have to look nice also. aishx. oh so annoying. haha. i mean its my choice la. but im just getting myself used to looking nice and professional. otherwise really look so sloppy all the time is not good either.

ok im going off again. just blabbering non stop. anyways, i was trying to figure out my emotions and feelings about dbsk. im not gaga over them anymore. like i dont scream and go crazy. but im not gg to deny that my heart like stops or beats super fast everytime i watch them. but im re-evaluating my feelings ba. cos really its not going to last. i mean ok nvm i dun even know what i wanna say. but yeah. recently been a lil crazy over hyunjoong. ah sam had me watch boys over flowers. she is gaga over kimbum but ive always liked hanazawa rui. so i will take note of whoever is acting as him and hyunjoong is just perfect for the role. he is by far the best person for the role of hanazawa rui. ohman. he is the cutest. ok enough of boy gaga-ing. ahem.

anyways, i have to go. had family conference just now. was discussing our itinery for this coming week. its interesting when we all come together and then see all of us going crazy and doing weird things. i love my family so much! its going to be a long while more b4 the whole family actually can get together. i think by the time that happens, we will all have our own family already which is pretty much sad. cos its been lets see about 4 years since our whole family's been together. and that 4 years went by so fast. in no time im telling you its going to be 5 then 6 then in a blink of an eye it will be 10 and then 20.. gosh. its depressing to think about this but i cannot help but just let my mind wander. ohwells. gotta go. toodles~